#revisions i would make are under the cut lol

[sugar-free-byproducts]

watched disney's Wish today.

they should've a) had the citizens give their wishes to magnifico for safekeeping as a way to combat the "grief epidemic" going around, which strikes unexpectedly and destroys people's core wishes, rather than 'for safekeeping from an undefined threat,' b) explicitly stated that magnifico only had enough power to grant one wish a month so he wasn't immediately clockable as being evil/greedy/in the wrong, c) had magnifico using wishes as power from the start. when it's revealed that he's doing so, he's shown as sympathetic, as having to make the hard choices to protect his people's happiness even if it's at the cost of others, d) had his destruction of wishes for power be the reason the grief epidemic was occurring at all, though this is not immediately revealed to Asha or the viewers, e) had him stockpiling wishes because he was looking to grant his and his wife's own wish [the restoration of their homeland from the greedy thieves that destroyed it?], which is too big for only a few wishes to be sacrificed to make happen & thus he has need of an entire kingdoms worth of them, f) had him realize he can use Asha's star to grant wishes at less cost & have him convince her to hand over the star willingly because she thinks he's doing it for the greater good and not just himself, g) BAM VILLAIN REVEAL! the star isn't enough alone to grant his and his wife's wish but it *is* enough with all the wishes he's compiled over the years. queue him&his wife doing the big evil monologue on top of the castle with all the wishes + star in a bubble, draining them of their potency and using them for their own designs/crippling the entire kingdom with misery in the process and making them unable to fight back, h) Asha being the one who has to stop him before dawn's first light because there needs to be a timer before the spell is irreversible and when the stars disappear in the morning seems as good an arbitrary time limit as any, g) idfk how the final fight ends [asha somehow gets the king or queen to change their wish (but not both of them!), making the spell too unstable to work as it's trying to grant two conflicting wishes, thus freeing the star + the captured wishes, maybe?] but it does still end w asha being a fairy godmother because i did think that was cute. Magnifico and his wife are definitely dethroned though and someone new takes it (maybe asha).

even if i'm not fixing any of the rest of the movie, just one moment i would fix is the ending. i think they also could've had a cool moment if Asha had already given magnifico her wish/wasn't trying to get her grandpas wish granted at the beginning, but find out what the wish was that she lost. Magnifico uses the destruction of her wish as power for a spell in the final fight and just it's destruction is enough to incapacitate her, let alone the actual spell. but the townspeople change their wishes or make a new wish to be for her to get back up and triumph or some cornball hoo ha and she wins the fight because of the wishes in everyone's hearts or smth, similarly to the movie. idk something about that final fight was grating to me and maybe this would fix it.

[astralis-ortus]

sunday, sunday, sunday

✱ husband!bc × fem!reader

— now, and every sundays to ever come. i want to spend them all with you.

w.count → 1.1k genre → fluff, fluff, fluff. just tooth rotting fluff. warnings → very minor cussing (just once)(atp cussing is a given lol), kissing, time jump (twice), chan referred to as chris a.n → blame the man for putting the idea in my head like what can i do??? his insta post??? hello??? not to mention his song recommendation while i was writing this??? laufey's like the movies??? what??? he wants me dead atp<////3 ⋆ see masterlist

it’s sunday.

to be fair, it has been sunday since the moment chris’ eyes flew open a few hours ago. it’s sunday when he got ready, it’s sunday when he got his light makeup and hair settled, it is sunday when he finally wore the crisp tailored suit that has been turning his heart into the loudest marching band ensemble he’d ever known.

but to be fair,

it’s not just any sunday.

“bring those shoulders down, hyung. you’re gonna get cramps at this point.”

“oh shut up,” chris groaned, feeling more embarrassed about the fact that he got caught more than the fact that his nerves are firing non-stop at an untraceable rate. “just take the pictures, felix.”

albeit rolling his eyes at chris’ rather feisty comment, it was proven impossible to wipe the cheeky grin off the younger’s clearly ecstatic face. after all, it’s a monumental day in chris’ life—and he’s very honored the older trusted his (and technically hyunjin’s) skills to capture the day’s earlier moments.

“see? that’s already all better,” felix cheerily quipped, snapping several pictures as soon as he caught a glimpse of chris fixing his posture. besides, a little movement here and there does make the picture come out a lot more natural, which was the one thing you repeatedly told him (and hyunjin) as something you wanted to see most in the final cuts.

you.

the mere thought of you was enough to melt the remaining stillness present in chris’ face.

it has been a wild few months; meetings after meetings, fittings after fittings, testing, changes in plans, some other minor revisions, checklist, checklist, checklist. chris was justifiably spent, and so were you. there were arguments (you refused to call them fights, knock on wood), there were a couple of shed tears (out of frustration, of course), there were a few hours of leaving each other on read (justifiably so, considering both of you are quite the stubborn pair), but there were also a lot of make-up dates, plenty of exchanged giggles of excitement, and bountiful of prayers for the days to come.

those days have been wild, and this sunday will begin to prove that every second of it was worthwhile.

“chris hyung!”

woken up from his trance, the glint on chris’ eyes finally returned as he found hyunjin’s head peeking from inside the room—the one he’d been waiting on for the past 10 minutes while his head was busy creating bits and pieces for his life montage.

“ready to see your bride?” asked the younger, grin replicating the ones felix is sporting behind his lenses.

am i ready?

palms running over the fabric of his carefully crafted suit, ones you finally chose after debating over a dozen others you deem was ‘not grand enough for someone about to spend the rest of my life with’, chris took one final breath.

“ready.”

it’s sunday.

it’s been exactly a week since your wedding day, and you finally got your hand on the stack of developed pictures courtesy to your now-husband’s talented teammates. originally, you wanted to take part in picking the films, but the duo was pretty convincing when they said waiting for their pick would make a good little surprise to enjoy on your honeymoon trip.

“come on,” chris beckoned, curls framing his beautiful face while his hand motioned to the empty spot next to him on the bed; one you just left after a call from the front desk informing you about the tiny package under your husband’s name. “let’s see how hyunjin did at taking your pictures.”

“and felix at yours,” you added with a grin, swiftly claiming your throne while your fingers were busy ripping open the brown envelope. “i want to see my husband as much as you wanted to see your wife, you know. not to mention, that suit was absolutely perfect on you.”

“not again,” his defeated giggles has been chris’ way to answer to your every compliment on his look since the day of your wedding. “you need to stop that before my head blows up to the size of a hot air balloon, my love.”

“well,” you shrugged, finally getting your hand on the stack of pictures before then snuggling right into the warmth of chris’ arms, “have you ever thought about trying not to be so hot all the da-“

and of course, stealing kisses has also been his alternative should you continue to run your mouth and try to turn him into a blushing mess.

as if that’s not exactly the reason why you kept up with the praises.

“can we start looking at the pictures,” he muttered over your lips, evidently smiling as his lips brushed against yours, “or do i still need to shut you up?”

you hummed, letting the warmth of his skin hover over your face before your lips captured his in a quick peck, “pictures. need to see my cool husband.”

the way his laugh reverberates against his chest never fails to warm you up.

“okay, picture it is then.”

it’s sunday.

you didn’t expect moving to be this hard—sure, you’ve been living together with chris even before you two got married, but had you really been accumulating that many stuffs?

“fuck—i think it’s not the right screw,” your husband’s mutters forces your line of sight to gravitate towards his hunched figure, still hovering over the half-built shelf on the floor of your living room.

“you reckon it should still stick out this much?” he questioned, beckoning you to look at the silver piece, sticking out like a sore thumb. “no, right?”

“think not,” you huffed, crouching next to chris to look at the scattered pieces around him, “was this all? did they send the wrong one?”

chris groaned in defeat, deciding to lean onto your warmth instead of voicing his answer. maybe building your own furniture was not exactly a good idea to spend your first weekend home after your honeymoon trip.

treading your fingers through his soft curls, you then came up with a suggestion, “i’ll get you a pineapple juice then we’ll figure it out together, yeah?”

and it sure perked him right up.

looking at you with sparkles lighting up in his eyes, it felt right—it felt like even through the worst sundays, chris would still be the there to welcome you home.

“thank you,” he grinned—the boyish kind. the one that made you feel like a swarm of butterflies, one that gets you blushing like a schoolgirl in front of her first ever crush. his lips then found its home on the bare of your thigh, printing a quick kiss on the surface, “you’re the best.”

“mm, i know,” you answered with a giggle, feeling the warmth breaking through your skin before returning the kiss on his plump lips while feigning ignorance to the way your heartbeat grew louder by the second.

“you’re still the bestest of the best, though. can’t beat you.”

©️ astralisortus, 2024. | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated♡

[chiscribbs]

Updated Future Donnie Concept Art!!!

So, I've been hesitant to try my hand at designing an Apocalyptic Future version of Donnie for a while, for a number of reasons - mainly that I just didn't have a clear idea of him in my brain yet and the thought of attempting to update his already pretty perfect design was highly daunting - but I finally caved and decided to take a crack at it. A couple months and several revisions later, I'm actually genuinely happy with the result. I'd still consider this "concept art" more so than a final design, elements of it could definitely be improved, but I really do like the concept as a whole - I think it could work!

The main goals I had in mind while working on this were: A. Must fit the character/look like something Donnie would canonically wear and still be easily recognizable. B. Must work in the Rise world & style (i.e. not be overly detailed or have too complex a silhouette.) C. Must fit in with the other (canonical) Future Rise designs.

I was also thinking about what problems Donnie might be trying to solve, which is what inspired the belt (more info on that below). All-in-all, although there might still be a few kinks to work out, I think I managed to come up with a pretty solid base design for my favorite Warring Warrior Scientist (Jr.)

Some additional character tidbits under the cut.

Also, I can't draw mechanisms to save my life, so just pretend those vague ninpo-gun-things make sense lol

Donnie has a mechanical prosthetic leg. How'd he lose that leg? Up to interpretation - my working theory is that it was a minefield accident that occurred when he was trying to blow some Krang dogs to Timbuktu. Naturally, since it's Donnie and they are in the midst of an alien apocalypse, he designed the leg to do a whole lot more than just help him stand without falling down. It's a multifunctional tool that contains a plethora of secret uses - including, but certainly not limited to, sawing off ugly Krang faces. It's essentially his new tech bo.

Bonus leg tidbit: Casey Jr. saw him deploy the saw blade in battle once when he was little, he then proceeded to beg for a saw-leg of his own to fight the Krang with. Donnie, realizing that amputating a perfectly healthy child's leg is probably not that most morally acceptable option, instead made him his own "sawing stick"(AKA, his motorized hockey stick)...which the others then made him wait until Casey's 10th birthday to give him.

The belt that Donnie's wearing here is a prototype of his latest invention. Its intended purpose: to deflect the Krang's mystic-blocking attacks, allowing them to use their ninpo in close combat. It took a lot of risk-taking to collect the necessary information to create such a device, and he experienced a number of way-too-close calls (one of which may or may not have resulted in that large gash across his plastron), but he finally managed to crack the code and pinpoint the frequency of the Krang's sound waves. He's testing it out right now to make sure that it works and is safe to use, but once it's out of beta, he plans to mass-produce them for every mystic-wielder in the Resistance to use in battle. He believes it could turn the tides of the war...unfortunately, the device never makes it out of beta, as he dies before its completion.

Donnie's gloves are fashioned after the ones his dad used to wear in his Lou Jitsu days (with some modifications, for comfort and to make working with screens a little easier and less annoying.) The material they're made out of is far more durable, of course, since he's working with them near-constantly and under varying conditions. But maybe he designed them to look like this as a way of keeping his dad's memory close, similar to Leo's sword hilt?

Ironically, Donnie uses his ninpo probably the most consistently out of all the brothers (even though Mikey uses his to the greatest extent, hence his rapid aging). He's constantly using it to check on the base's security status and multitask while working on other projects. Because his ninpo takes a good deal of brain power to operate, it puts a significant amount of strain on his nervous system and this causes frequent complications. Seizures, spasms, and blackouts become a semi-regular occurrence - especially in the latter part of his life. Donnie does his best to manage them, but the workload makes it almost impossible to do so properly. Mikey is able to help with these attacks when they happen, but Donnie - not wanting his brother to overuse his powers any more than he is already - usually opts to just ride it out and save the mystic healing for people who need it. The exception to this rule being when he's in the middle of an extremely important procedure and can't stop long enough to let the attack pass naturally, then he has no choice but to accept Mikey's aid.

This is probably needless to say at this point, but much like Leo and his other brothers, he is a giant. Equal in height to Leo (if not slightly taller, even without the goggles.) The doodle in the top-left corner of the sketch page where he's next to April is meant to be them sitting, so don't take it as anywhere near an accurate representation of their height comparison. It is not, he dwarfs her by several feet, lol.

[meanbossart]

Lore Ask Compilation: "Every Other Question Is About The Drow's Dick" edition

Oh I LOVE Minthara, her dialogue is absolutely fascinating and in my opinion some of the best written In the game. Experiencing her in my Evil Durge playthrough without having been spoiled to her companion scenes prior was great - the amount of depth they managed to add to her, without it at all feeling forced or rushed, and considering how much less time she gets to develop at our side is really well done. While nearly everyone's quests had me immersed, she was one of the few characters who really made me pause and think about the things she had to say to me, what she truly meant by them, and what they meant for me as an avatar doing an evil run.

We have a lot of characters in this game that are meant to be full of wisdom and experience, who are meant to be the ones who say the right thing at the right time that inspires us to make the correct choices, but I don't think either Halsin or Jaheira (and I love Jaheira) made me feel like I knew so little about life quite as Minthara did.

And, of course, she's absolutely hysterical. 10/10 I wish she had a proper companion quest past being rescued but I understand why she doesn't.

[MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT]

It doesn't connect to the urethra since the slit in on top, so he nuts and pisses normal.

Also you 100% are not sorry, stop lying to me.

Man, I thought a lot about this one because I play so fast and loose with the content the game gives us that I'm positive there must be SOMETHING I'm completely disregarding, but I couldn't think of anything! I've chosen to pick slightly less obvious interpretations to some lines and text but nothing that completely deviates from canon, I don't think. If anyone has noticed something I neglected to mention, feel free to let me know - not because I want to revise it, but just because I'm curious!

For the second part of the question, not really. Larian did a great job of giving us plenty of room to play around in the dark urge's background, I think I'm yet to see something that I find to truly "not fit" in the ample freedom they've given us. I have my preferences, of course - I'm shocked to find that most dark urge's are NOT big hulking beasts, for example - in fact that seems to be the minority by far, but I realize that I have my... Uh... Biases.

You can see a cute little divot through the fabric if you look closely LOL

And nah, I think his penis has seen enough sharp points for a lifetime.

Well.

Unless someone decided to add some bite-marks to it.

HMMM, I... Don't think so.

He didn't cry as a baby, he didn't cry as a child (and this isn't something I just decided on now - this is a major reason why his foster drow mother even kept him around) he didn't really cry growing up or at any point during the campaign. I think he is capable of it - sadness in him just tends to be far more confusing a feeling than anything else.

He will have emotional moments in ANE, whether or not that will culminate in crying is something you will have to wait to find out LOL

Astarion has noticed this and just took it as a character trait - the drow doesn't cry, he just gets confused, angry, frustrated or simply bottles it up. While he can be demanding of his emotional maturity, he isn't going to try and dictate how he should experience his own feelings. If it did happen it would definitely catch him majorly off-guard, perhaps even shift the perception he has of him to a certain extent.

Oh my god you just know they All managed to be utterly quiet about it for as long as humanly (and unhumanly) possible until like, I don't even know, halfway through the Shadow-cursed lands where one day Karlach finally turns back to the group around the campfire after a half-nude drow has strut past and she's like "SO

"DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHY HIS DICK HAS A SNATCH"

And Wyll is like :0... Karlach you can't just ask people that.

And then she pointedly turns to Astarion and starts trying to interrogate him on how it works while Gale covers his ears and Shadowheart is like:

This is gonna blow you guys backwards but he does not do those things in front of people and thinks its rude if you do.

HMMM Mostly physically but it's a little subtle. He really enjoys interacting with Astarion's (and previously Orin's) hands - kissing, holding, caressing. Touching hair and faces as well. He can engage in more overt physical affection but usually Astarion has to be the one to initiate.

A disarmingly earnest proclamation of love and adoration here and there as well - he isn't shy in the slightest to tell people how he feels about them, he just isn't constantly reminding them of it unless inspiration strikes.

Most of all I think he expects his loved-ones to see his care for them in his tendency to go out of his way to help them achieve their goals.

He went with them to the Shadow-cursed lands but I never helped him fix the curse, so he stayed behind when the gang went onwards to the city. DU Drow didn't really like him so it was good-riddance as far as he was concerned.

If he had come along and propositioned him during act 3 - uh, you know the really mean rejection line you have as a choice during that dialogue? Yeah, that one lmao.

Alas, DU drow is just monogamous. He could entertain group-sex with a partner for fun at the most, but not ever a third person in the relationship. And In my personal interpretation (but by all means - everyone else have fun with their poly arrangements!) of Astarion and his delivery of the "this is about Halsin" line, I also thought he was lying about being comfortable with it, so I write him as monogamous as well.

Nothing. Nada. Not a thing. Say what you'd like about Bhaal but he sure knows how sculpt them out of his murder-meat.

(Thank you!!!)

[exeggcute]

well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

:)

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

[hischierlovebot]

11, 12 and 17 for the fic writer asks <3

Hello my friend <333

fic writer asks

11. a WIP you’d like to finish someday

Oh there are so many. Right now, that's fake hanahaki, although that one should be getting finished soonish, because I'm 30k deep already and we will come out victorious. other fics that have been on the backburner for a while now are the auswilly fake dating, and the werewolves with no werewolves fic, which has been haunting me for around 2 years? And I hope I can get to those this year!

12. a trope you’re really into right now

Well I recently finished my leverage rewatch so I'm very into heists and cons but tbf most of my free time (dead hours at work) is spent fighting fake hanahaki so there hasn't been that much reading from me! I am, however, itching for the kind of fic that you finish and leaves you feeling hollow because of how good it was so if you have any recs, I'll take them <33

17. talk about your writing and editing process

Man this will be very long and also maybe a bit confusing. I'll post under the cut.

The most important part to understand about my process is that there's no editing. There is a final revision, where I go over the text to polish it and catch stray typos, but I don't really write in drafts: what you get posted to ao3 is what the fic has looked like, most of the time.

So, my process goes a little like this: I get an idea, I write down the scene that comes to mind (most of the times with the longer fics, we're not talking about a fleshed out idea, just a scene that I build the rest of the story around. In soulmates, for example, my goal was to tackle my issues with the concept as a whole, and in fake hanahaki, there's a scene that encapsulates this very well, but that I still can't share for obvious reasons), and then the rest of the story is built around it.

If it's a long fic, or a more complex one, say soulmates or hanahaki, to name hrpf examples, then I need to figure out the plot before I write it. It's something that only really happens with these fics because I can't write if I'm not satisfied with what I've written before.

I think of it as building blocks. I need to have a solid foundation to build on, because if it's wobbly, then I keep worrying it's going to bring down the rest of the structure, and there's nothing I hate more than spending hours on a thing, only for it to be absolutely pointless. Sometimes I get stuck with the base and I can't continue until i figure it out, but I can focus on other stuff, that helps me see the whole picture a little clearer. It's why I tend to write out of order, and, afterwards, I take all the pieces and line them up until they make sense. Currently, fake hanahaki is 60 pages long, and there's only like 45% in order. The rest are disconnected scenes that would probably confuse the fuck out of a reader, and that I have to line up to figure out what's still missing.

Once that's done, then the fic is pretty much done. Because I can't write if I'm not satisfied with the build up of a scene, I've gone over them a bunch of times, so there's no need for further rewrites. They were done as the scene was written. What it needs is a final revision to catch any typos, and then it's ready to go out.

If you're wondering, yes, this means that I rarely if at all use beta readers, also because I worry about annoying them with how much I write and switch wips and fandoms lol there are no deleted scenes either because if they weren't going to make it then they never got written and if they were on the page then I just have to figure out where they go. Is this method of mine the most efficient? Probably not, but it's what works with me and I don't think my works turn out that bad so I'm going to stick with it.

And I think that was it lol sorry for how lengthy this was, and let me know if there's anything that wasn't clear!

[audrey-carr1]

The Heiress and the Lady of the House (part 7)

A/N: I'm not dead! Just overworked and underpaid lol. Anyway, this update took me a bit longer than I thought because I have rewritten the ending a total of 3 times. Honestly, this may be going under some heavy revision, but I'll keep it. Count all my mistakes for me lol.

warnings: fem!reader, Hetty X Reader, mentions of death

Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Want to Read on Ao3? Click here

“What a twist! See that wasn’t so hard to admit was it?” Lydia says in a mocking tone. 

I give Lydia a pointed look. 

“Alright, now let’s unpack the rest, sassy pants,” Lydia says. 

“I was eavesdropping on my parents. I didn’t mean to I just couldn’t find out a way to move without being noticed. They were arguing about me and my friendship with Arabella and how our friendship was going to bring nothing but trouble,”

Once more a bright light overwhelms my eyes, and I am back to my childhood standing in my parent’s study as they argue quietly.

—--------

“They were bound to be friends, they share more than just a neighborhood,” My mother says.

Don’t you think I know that? But what happens if they are found out? Dale’s entire fortune would be wiped clean. They wouldn’t have a pot to piss in,” My father says.

“I told you 15 years ago that this was going to end poorly,” My mother responds.

“I was helping a friend! If they did not have an heir to their fortune, he was going to be cut out of the will, and they needed the money,” My father hisses.

“I know that! I said I was okay with that, but the other end of that deal was that they were supposed to move to avoid this happening,” My mother shoots back.

“So what do you want me to do? Break up their friendship of fifteen years? Think of our daughter,”

“I am thinking of my daughter! Now imagine how she would feel if she were to find out that her best friend is actually her sister. Imagine the public scrutiny that would cause on every family involved. We lied to make sure that it looked like the child was his. We did some very sketchy things, and if that was found out-”

“I know this!” My father shouts in a whisper.

—-------

I’m brought back to the beach, and Lydia is looking at me with expectant eyes. 

“I kept quiet to prevent the scandal my parents wanted to avoid so much. So what? There isn’t any resolving needed there,” I tell Lydia. 

“Doesn’t that feel good getting that off of your chest?” Lydia says

I narrow my eyes at her, “How is me talking about the past going to help me get back home?”

“Have you ever wondered how one event changed the trajectory of your life,”

“Sometimes when I’m in a 3 am spiral in the comfort of MY HOME,” I emphasize. 

“Would you change it?” Lydia asks

“Change what?” I ask.

“Your past? If you could change your past and give yourself a new future would you?” Lydia repeats her statement once more. 

I don’t have time to answer before the light returns.

—-----

When the light fades, and my eyes adjust I find myself in a neighborhood. I’m dressed in my college sweatshirt and rolled jeans with my favorite pair of white sneakers. I look around taking in my surroundings, and I can’t help but notice it resembles the neighborhhod I grew up in. 

“Because this is the neighborhood you grew up in. Now go inside,” Lydia says and then she disappears. 

I turn the knob to the front door, and it opens. The familiar scent of home hits my nostrils bringing back memories, that were so long forgotten. It feels so different but it’s exactly how I left it. I haven’t been back since after my parent's funeral. I’m sure the place is collecting dust. Tears spring to my eyes, and I quickly wipe them away when I hear footsteps approaching. 

“Oh look you’re home!” My mom says. Her hands are covered in flour. She must have been cooking. 

“I am home…why are you here- I mean home…now…at this particular time?” I quickly try to cover my words.

Mom tilts her head, her eyebrows knitting in confusion. 

“I’m always here at this time,” She says

I pull out my phone and check the time. She is usually home at this, so nothing odd there is nothing odd about that. I nearly drop the phone when I see the year 2024 staring back at me. 

She wipes her hand on her apron coming to play a hand on my forehead to see if I have a temperature.

“Are you okay sweetie? You look a bit worn,” She says. 

“I um…I got go and lie down,” I say racing to my room.

I nearly knock the door off its hinges when I open it and accidentally slam it shut. 

“Holy fucking shit. Holy shit! What this can’t be happening. What is happening,” I ask myself out loud. 

I begin pacing in my bedroom floor, trying to figure out what was going on. I pinch myself, and I discover that I am in fact not dreaming. A knocking on my door brings me from my thoughts. 

“Sweetie, are you okay in there? Your mom says you're acting weirdly,”

“You’re here too?” I say a little louder than expected. 

“Well, I do live here. Are you sure you’re okay? Is something going on?”

I quickly move to hold the door closed, “No just a little uh headache is all nothing to be worried about!” 

“Alright, well if you say so,” Dad says. I slump against the door. 

“This is happening. I’m home!” I think to myself.

I go through my room looking for photo albums, and I find them on the lower part of a bookshelf. I grabbed the one starting in 2018, the year my parents died. I open the book and I see it’s flooded with pictures of me with my parents. A couple of pictures of Nadine and Riley are sprinkled in too. I lay that book to the side, and grab the following year’s photobook. One followed right after the other until I was caught up. 

After hours of going through my room, I hear my mom call my name telling me it’s time for dinner. I get become nervous. I haven’t had dinner with my parents in years, what if they ask about what’s been going on in life? What do I tell them? 

Instead of creating more suspicion, I go downstairs to meet my parents in the dining room. 

“Are you feeling better?” Dad asks. 

“Much thank you,” I reply. 

“That is good to hear, I was worried all my cooking would have gone to waste,” My mom sitting down in the chair next to me. 

I take a moment to look at my parents. They haven’t changed much besides the signs of age. A couple of grey streaks in my Mom’s hair, and my Dad’s hair has gone full grey instead of it’s usual salt-and-pepper look. 

“You seem to be in deep thought,” Dad says scooping some salad onto his plate. 

“Just really happy to be home right now,” I say. 

Mom grabs my hand and squeezes it. I move closer to embrace her in a hug. I don’t fight the tears that fall. 

—-------

End of January

Hetty has been up for hours scouring her brain for hours for an idea on how to bring her love back home. 

“What about a seance?” Hetty asks.

“But she’s not dead…technically,” Trevor points out.

“A reverse seance we could try that. Send me to her, and I can find a way to guide her back.”

“Hetty if that were to work that would be dangerous. You could end up trapped yourself,”

“That is a risk I am willing to take,” Hetty says not budging. 

“Hetty what if it doesn’t work?” Alberta asks a bit concerned.

Now Hetty was getting annoyed, “Am I supposed to sit here and twiddle my thumbs like some fool?”

Everyone sits in silence for a moment contemplating what Hetty has said. 

Isaac finally speaks up, “Hetty we cannot risk losing you both, we won’t send you,”

Hetty storms off,  returning to your room, and lays on the bed you two once shared. She wishes the bed still shared your scent, but time has caused it to fade. Her chest aches, and all she does now is sit and wait for your return. She learns your condition doesn’t worsen, but it doesn’t turn for better either. Yesterday she searched the ground fearing that when you hit the ghost boundary you had somehow gotten stuck somewhere. It took Thor having to carry her back to the house for Hetty realize she had been searching from sun-up till sundown. Her feet ached once Thor had set her down on the couch and begged Hetty not to do that again. Instead, he would search for her, and Pete was more than happy to go along. Hetty was hopeful once they said it and prayed that even a hint of your presence was found. When they returned empty-handed, Hetty didn’t leave your room for two days. 

Hetty had never experienced this kind of grief before. Grieving for a lover is something that Hetty was not familiar with. She was heartbroken when she and her painter had to call things off, she practically rejoiced when she found Elias had no happy ending, but now she is in despair. Her days seem bleak without you in the home. 

She feels as if she is in one of those tragic novels she used to read, never to escape. Doomed to rot. 

She tries to keep up with the ghosts, but she cannot shake the feeling of you. She knows that you are out there, it’s like you are tugging on her heart pulling her in your direction. Hetty just cannot figure out which way to start. Hetty turns to her side and tries to sleep. 

—-

In the living room, the rest of the ghosts continue to ponder Hetty’s request. 

“What if she’s right? What if she can bring her back?” Pete asks.

“What if she’s wrong, and Hetty gets stuck in who knows where?” Isaac points out.

“How do we know that she is in there?” Flower asks

“We don’t but how will we know if we don’t try,” Pete replies.

“Haven’t we lost enough? What happens if Hetty gets stuck over wherever it is we might send her” Alberta says.

“We can ponder these questions all night long, but it won’t change anything. I’m afraid that Hetty may even try to do it herself,” Trevor says, “Once she puts her mind to something she won’t stop until she gets it.”

Still having not reached a consensus, the ghosts stand around each other. Just as puzzled as before. 

—-----

I went to sleep in my own bed, and I awake back on the beach dressed in the nightgown I had gone to bed in. I can’t shake the feeling of disappointment I feel. Now that I’m back without my parents, it’s like I’m grieving them all over again. Lydia’s questions weigh heavy on my mind. If I had the option to choose that future, would I take it? 

I shake the thought from my head. No. I need to get back to Woodstone. Back to my friends. Back to Hetty. 

“So you are the half-ling everyone has been talking about,” A voice says.

I turn in the direction of the voice and see a dark figure. I don’t even have to guess who they might be, “So I’ve been told. You must be Death.” 

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Death says holding out a hand. I look at it, but I do not take it. 

“You are upset,” Death says putting their hand back at their side. 

“Do not patronize me,” I grumble. 

“I would do no such thing,” Death says.

“Yet here you are,” Your eyes don’t leave them watching for any sudden movements. 

“I am sure Lydia explained to you that you had a decision to make,” Death says

“She did and then she disappeared. How convenient,” I yell hoping Lydia could hear me wherever she went. 

“Oh, you are a spitfire. Just like that Hetty of yours,” Death says. 

My head whips around at the sound of her name. 

“Oh, that struck a nerve didn’t it?” Death teases.

“I swear if you,” I say my jaw is clenched and my hands balled into fists. 

“If I what? She’s dead, what could I possibly do to her? Take it down a notch, I’m not going to hurt you or any of your little friends. Living or dead,” Death says.

“What do you want from me?” I ask 

“I want you to stop being stubborn, and come with me,” Death replies

“I do not want to. I want to go home,” I say, “That is all I want. Is to be with my friends at home.”

“Home. You humans get so attached,” Death spat, “The place you want to go isn’t your home. You knew that the moment you saw mommy and daddy,”

“I have lived a life without them. I will be fine going back. Now if we could please,” 

“I only want the truth, and the sooner you get it to me. The sooner you get what you want. Otherwise, you come with me,” Death says. 

—---

Back at the manor

After one more night of consideration, the ghosts decide this may be their best bet to bring you home. If you are indeed lost, then you would need guidance to get back to the other side. 

The seance is held the following night with a full moon. Items belonging to you lay in a pile on the table. The ghosts surround Hetty in a circle joining their hands and begin chanting. 

Sam enters the room and stops just at the entrance. “Hey, what’s with all of the - What is going on?” 

Sam can't get an answer before Hetty is enveloped in light and disappears before their eyes. 

“What did you guys just do?!” Sam asks looking at the ghosts who also can’t believe what they just did. 

—------------

Annoyed I say, “I have told you what I would like, so if you could get to soul swappy thing that would be great,” 

Death doesn’t move, and neither do I. We both wait, watching the other to see whose bluff would be called first.

“You really are stubborn aren’t you,” Death mumbles.

“You have no idea,” A voice from behind says. 

“Hello, I am right here,” I say quickly not registering who had replied. I stand still for a moment. I know that voice. I turn around, and there she is. I have to have to be hallucinating. I must be hallucinating. She says my name, and I know this is real. She’s here with me.  My heart feels like it could fly from my chest. 

“Hetty!” I exclaim. 

My feet take off to meet her. Hetty’s arms are outstretched, and I nearly topple her with the force of my body weight. She grabs me by the waist and pulls me in immediately peppering kisses all over my face but delivering a kiss to my lips. A kiss so full of passion, it takes my breath away. Her hands tug at me, and I pull her in closer.

Hetty breaks the kiss and embraces me in a bear grip of a hug, “My darling! I have missed you so much. These past couple of weeks have been unbearable with you,”

“I have missed you!” I pull away from the bug and give her another kiss. 

“These past couple of weeks” Hetty’s words echo in my mind.

“Weeks? What do you mean weeks? It’s only been a day,” I say to her. 

Hetty looks at me a sadness returning to her eyes. Her thumb runs over my cheek, and a tear escapes her eye. 

She takes a steadying breath before she speaks, “Darling, it’s been almost 3 weeks, since the incident. ”

“3 weeks? That means it’s almost February,” I exclaim, “A day hasn’t passed here, the sun never set. There is no way I’ve been here for weeks. That’s impossible.”

Noticing that I was spiraling, Death speaks up, “The sun will never set here. It never will.”

“I’ve been here for weeks?”  The question is mainly for myself as I wrap my brain around all of this. Then another question pops into my head. 

“Hetty how did you get here? You shouldn’t be here,” I say.

“Finally you and I are on the same page,” Death says. 

Hetty scoffs and turns me to face her. Both of her hands are on my shoulder steadying as she looks me in the eye. 

“Don’t worry about how I got here, just know that I am taking you home,” Hetty says.

“She’s not going anywhere,” Death says coming to towards us. 

“And why the hell not?” Hetty looks up and her eyes are on Death’s form. A cold shock runs through Hetty, but she tries not show it. Instead, Hetty grasps my arm to move me of the way.

“Henrietta Woodstone, how lovely it is to see you,” Death says. 

“Oh now we want to do greetings? What is it that you want with her?” Hetty asks.

“She’s coming with me,” Death says. 

“I see you are sorely mistaken, she is coming home with me,” Henrietta says tightening the grip she has on my arm. 

Death laughs, “I have no time for games, and my patience is wearing quite thin.”

“I have told you that I want to go home. That is my decision that is my hold up?”

“You cannot lie to me. The home you are trying to return to is not the home you seek,”

Death pauses. I feel my heart hammer in my chest a dull roar of blood in my ears. 

“You want to be with your parents. That’s what home is to you. The sooner you stop denying that the sooner we can all get on with your lives,” Death says a tone of annoyance in their voice. 

“Your parents?” Hetty asks

“It’s nothing, just some little mind trick they do. Don’t worry about it,” I brush off the comment. 

“No, tell me please,” Hetty asks. I cannot deny her request, I never have been able to. 

“I saw a future of what it was like if my parents were still alive,” Isay

“And?” Hetty asks. 

Though the answer is on the tip of my tongue, I delay it. I try to look down, but Hetty tilts my chin up to meet her eyes. Her eyes tell me that she is expectant of an answer. 

“I loved it,” I say in a hushed whisper. I never thought I would feel ashamed for missing my parents.

“And that is what you want?” Hetty asks.

“No! No, Hetty, I want you and Woodstone Manor. That is my home,” I say hurriedly

“Darling,” Hetty cups the side of my face, “It’s okay to want your parents,”

I can’t find the right words to speak, so I just shake my head hoping that she would believe me. 

Hetty looks over my head and in Death’s direction, “If she were to choose this alternative future…”

“You wouldn’t remember her in your world, and she wouldn’t remember you in hers. It’ll be like you never crossed paths. If she doesn’t choose, she dies. Simple,” Death says.

-End of Part 7-

[campgender]

hey! I'm currently writing a paper discussing experiences of disabled and neurodivergent students at my uni (spoiler alert: it's not great lmao), and while I have a couple references so far (mostly Lund and Pearlstein) about the larger Disabled Student ExperienceTM I'm struggling to find academic papers talking about this, particularly since my field of study is psychology rather than disability theory/disability justice. are there any texts regarding this that you would reccommend? doing my best to lean on crip theory for this essay and you were the first person i thought of! no worries if you don't have the energy to answer this rn ofc, i hope you're having a good day ✨

omg what a fabulous & vital project! i’d love to hear more about your work both out of interest & to potentially refine my recommendations because this is such a complex, multifaceted area of experience + research + activism — i tried to draw from a variety of perspectives so you can dig deeper into what seems most relevant!

my number one recommendation is the book Academic Ableism by Jay Dolmage, i still need to read most of it rip but it’s absolutely considered foundational in this topic. the rest i’m gonna put under a cut because it got super long lol, i’ll also reblog to my disability sideblog @crippleprophet in case anyone else has suggestions!

best of luck with your work, i hope some of this is helpful! feel free to reach out for more recommendations, input, or encouragement❣️💖

on the built environment – eg, the physical campus & how it impacts students

if you’re in the US, this summary of colleges’ responsibilities under the ADA has been helpful for me (link).

Building Access by Aimi Hamraie

Accessibility for Historic Buildings: A Field Guide, 2nd Edition (link to pdf)

written by David Provost and revised by Joseph Hoefferle, Jr. as part of the University of Vermont Graduate Program in Historic Preservation

back in 2020 i used the first edition of this document in a project arguing my undergraduate university should make its historic buildings more accessible

lays out policies & options in tables with photo examples from their campus

Aimi Hamraie & Kelly Fritsch’s Crip Technoscience Manifesto (2019)

Catalyst: Feminism, Theory, Technoscience, 5(1), pp1-34.

this piece is honestly just incredibly life-giving for me in general so i highly recommend giving it a full read when you have time. specific parts that i thought might resonate with the experiences of students at your uni:

“user-initiated design” (Hendren & Lynch, cited p9)

“access as friction” (p10):

Emerging out of historical fights for disability rights, the terms accessibility and access are usually taken to mean disabled inclusion and assimilation into normative able-bodied relations and built environments. […] However, the etymology of the word access reveals two frictional meanings: access as “an opportunity enabling contact,” as well as “a kind of attack” (2016, p. 23). Taking access as a kind of attack reveals access-making as a site of political friction and contestation. While historically central to the fights for disability access, crip technoscience is nevertheless committed to pushing beyond liberal and assimilation-based approaches to accessibility, which emphasize inclusion in mainstream society, to pursue access as friction, particularly paying attention to access-making as disabled peoples’ acts of non-compliance and protest.

noncompliant users and assistive technology as friction (p11):

Lifchez and Winslow offer the concept of “non-compliant users,” illustrating this with an image of a powerchair user wheeling against traffic on a street without curb cuts (1979, p. 153). This technology-enabled movement against the flow of traffic marks anti-assimilationist crip mobility: not an attempt to integrate (as in the liberal approach to disability rights), but rather to use technology as a friction against an inaccessible environment.

collaborative mapping of (in)accessibility, something i know happens more informally among disabled students on many campuses (p15):

Unlike mainstream disability technoscience “crowdsourcing” projects, which invoke a charity model of disability wherein non-disabled people collect data but do not engage in disability culture or politics, emerging projects such as Mapping Access are making participatory access-making the basis of a kind of technoscientific “access intimacy” (Mingus, 2017) through practices such as “critical crowdsourcing” of accessibility data (Hamraie, 2018). […] Collaborative mapping visualizes the evidence of inaccessibility while creating opportunities for collective response. Crip cartographic technoscience thus enables more critical design, and interrogation of the everyday built environment.

access to education

the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities includes the right to inclusive education (Article 24). scholarship in this area is about primary & secondary education, not postsecondary / university education, but a lot of the concepts can be applied

in addition to inclusive education, “universal design for learning” (UDL) might be a helpful keyword but it definitely trends toward the liberal as a whole

“Hidden contradictions and conditionality: conceptualisations of inclusive education in international human rights law” (2013) by Bronagh Byrne (link)

references the importance of identifying barriers as a step in the process of accessible education, which depending on your work may be a nice succinct justification of its necessity (p234):

Inclusion ‘necessitates the removal of the material, ideological, political and economic barriers that legitimate and reproduce in equality and discrimination in the lives of disabled people’ (Barton and Armstrong 2001, 214). According to this view, an identification of barriers within the school’s environment, teaching and learning strategies, and attitudes that prevent the full participation of children with disabilities, will also be required.

argues for a focus on inability of schools to meet students’ needs rather than students’ inability to conform to an ableist environment (for example, p242):

International human rights law has conditionalised the right to inclusive education for children with disabilities by making inclusion contingent upon the extent of individual rather than institutional or structural deficits.

psychological/emotional impact on disabled students

“psycho-emotional disablism” may be a useful search term for you, with the disclaimer that a substantial portion of scholars in feminist disability studies are TERFs / express “gender critical” beliefs / etc. so like i’m listing one paper i came across that looked relevant + two from my grad program’s recommended reading, but i haven’t read these & suggest vetting authors before citing them:

“The psycho-emotionally disabling impact of academic landscapes of exclusion: experiences of a disabled postgraduate in perpetual lockdown” (2023) by Joanne Hunt (link)

Reeve, D (2004). Psycho-emotional dimensions of disability and the social model. In C Barnes & G Mercer (eds), Implementing the social model of disability: theory and research. The Disability Press, Leeds, pp. 83-100. http://donnareeve.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/ReeveChapter2004b.pdf

Reeve, D. (2014) 'Psycho-emotional disablism and internalised oppression', in J. Swain, S. French, C. Barnes and C. Thomas (eds) Disabling Barriers - Enabling Environments, 3rd Edition, London: Sage, pp. 92-98. http://donnareeve.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/ReeveChapter2014a.pdf

[my-mt-heart]

Thoughts on the 206 Spoilers

I probably don't need to mention again that what's written on the page can translate differently on screen for a number of reasons — acting choices, editing choices, reshoots we aren't aware of. We know that. Some of us felt that with the opening minutes (if you want to read my page-to-screen analysis on that, you can do so here). But I also know changes don't always happen unless I'm willing to tell the people in charge why I want them in the first place. I believe the 201 revisions happened because we talked about it. I'll admit I don't know how fixable the 206 scenes are, and frankly the underlying issue aside from the writing is the writer, but I still want to talk about it because if Caryl's story is going to continue for however many more years, their fanbase has to feel like the storytelling is worth both the emotional and the financial investment. These sides don't help with that. Spoilers under the cut...

I want to start by clearing up some confusion I saw in the original post about Carol's scenes being crossed out. It doesn't mean her scenes were deleted; it just means they weren't shot on the same day as the other scenes on the pages. We don't have all the tunnel beats, but what we do have appears to be in chronological order for the most part, so that gives us a close enough look at how the tunnel scenes are being framed. The framing is what's troubling because Daryl and Carol are in their own separate corners, breathing in poison gas, losing their will to live, but never turn to each other (or thoughts of each other) to keep fighting for each other like their entire story since the start of the flagship show, the tagline "to find home is to find each other," and the SDCC synopsis would have us believe.

Carol is looking for closure with Sophia which I understand, although it's extremely underwhelming and it still doesn't explain what's tethering her to this world. For Daryl, it's the figment of Isabelle that represents his hope. Their bond, not Daryl's and Carol's, gets to carry the emotional weight of those scenes. I can't even begin to make sense of Isabelle being Daryl's savior and motivation to keep going while his brief interaction with Carol at the end may as well be between him and his mailman. Side note: I guess the poison gas isn't so poisonous anymore? Why are they having a conversation without masks lol

Okay, they leave together, but as what? Strangers? Is this where I'm supposed to get hyped for S3? Because Caryl will be in the same proximity while Zabel keeps them emotionally detached from one another? That's not the Caryl show I want to tune in for. I want their show to make their relationship the emotional core and I want to see their romantic feelings for each other become explicitly canon. They have so much shared trauma and so much shared history that hasn't been thoroughly explored. When do we get to see that?

I understand how ridiculous all of these concerns sound when we factor in Melissa's input and the excitement she showed at SDCC. I'm not discounting that at all (@9lives2mics posted a really great overview of the PR strategy for SDCC, which I highly recommend listening to btw). What I'm trying to get at is, as far as the material goes, Zabel's vision for his original characters and his original premise seem to be dragging down the story that Melissa and even Norman are trying to tell for their characters. There were even several instances in their interviews where McReedus didn't seem to be on the same page as Zabel and Greg Nicotero. It's disheartening because if the latter two can get away with shooting what we see in these sides and making a trailer centered on Daryl's French family, what's going to make the final cuts? Do I want to find out?

Final thought: If you're going to make allusions to gas chambers, then the scenes need to amount to a hell of a lot more than shipbaiting and being artsy. Otherwise, it's just tone deaf.

[kaiowut99]

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters GX Episodes 120-121 Subbed (Finalized)

(Previously: Episodes 117-119 Subbed [Finalized])

(Check out my Subbed!GX Stream Masterpost!)

TURN-120: A Battle in a Different World! The Gem Beasts VS Harpie Lady

Upon opening his eyes after his life-or-death bout with Cobra, Judai finds himself in... a desert--a desert in which only the Duel Academia school building stands, making this an odd situation. Well-versed in geology, Jim posits that the Duel Academia has been flung into a different world, the strange circumstances causing disorder among the Duel Academia's students. Things turn for the worse as the Monsters made real in this world come to attack. Johan confronts the Harpie Lady invasion, but...

TURN-121: Survival in the Desert! Johan VS the Antlion

Something has caused Rei to sustain a serious injury. To acquire medicine to treat Rei, Judai and co. head for a submarine that Misawa saw, having to traverse the desert in order to get to where the submarine is. A materialized Titan appears before Judai and the others there, obstructing their way. A battle begins between Titan and Johan, and as Titan materializes his Sand Doodlebug to attack him, Johan responds with his Gem Beasts. However, with Titan summoning a Monster that is at its best in the Desert, Johan is gradually cornered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Does anyone else have sand in their everywhere

Slight delay aside, episodes 120 and 121 are now up and finalized! With Cobra out of the picture, we shift into a bit of a transition arc as we get more setup for the second half of Season 3, with a little dimension-hopping as our crew gets warped to a Desert world (featuring three suns like the Gravekeepers' world) and come face-to-face with materialized Monsters. I do appreciate how this shakes things up and gives us a setting that's away from the Academia island, and also getting the glorious [yet random] return of Misawa, 5-o'clock shadow and all; 120 effectively serves as setup for how this new world works, as well as finally getting Samejima back [as Chronos notes, he never is around for times like these] with Pegasus coming to join him, and the glowing boy getting his hand on Martin, with 121 showing us more, and also a hint at who might be behind the arm ("This pain... is your love, isn't it?"). Also, materialized Winged Kuriboh is precious.

Animation error-wise, there actually wasn't too much overall! (Which is nice since I can keep it all to one post, lol.) Though that would happen since these don't have too much going on all told. 120 gets two small fixes with the Ojamas-in-bed scene and Sapphire Pegasus's second ATK/DEF counter, while 121 gets a handful of mostly quality-of-watching ones, with one card fix and a couple of on-screen translation edits. Details under the cut below for the interested!

Quick housekeeping: I re-finalized episode 46 after an "I activate an Quick-Play" typo was brought to my attention (a holdover from my "Instant Magic" days--thanks to Lyeat Akiyama over on NAC for the heads-up [pls let me know if you find typos while watching!]), as well as 119 after missing an update to the Program Marketing credit in the ED (Kenrou Utsumi taking over from Machiko Ishii as of 119). The 119 link in 117-119's release post now links to the re-uploaded version, as does 46's in its post; I've updated both links in the Masterpost and will be posting the re-finalized hardsub/script/MKV for 46 and hardsub for 119 on NAC soon as I post these.

Anywho, enjoy! With these done, I'll be getting into the ZEXAL stretch of TFSP for a bit as I revise what I'd already worked on for Yuma's story and then start on the next one, as well as getting my ARC-V "Dub-Uncut" edit for episode 1 finally off my backburner (subsequent episodes shouldn't take that long lol--though it's funny, I wasn't going to sub ARC-V since Crunchyroll's done so, but in revising their subs to use with my DU releases [since I want to release dual-audio versions], I still revised quite a bit like it'd be my own take anyway lol, so I guess I am in some way 🙃). After that, it'll be onto GX 122-123 as we get into the Invasion of the Body-Snatchers Duel Zombies stretch of this arc--stay tuned!

Fixes & Edits! (120)

As Manjoume gets up from his Infirmary bed, he pushes the bed sheets down to the foot of the bed, revealing the Ojamas--now materialized--under them. But as the sheets pass over them, there's a quick frame of sheet movement (lasting for three frames) where the sheets are drawn over Ojama Yellow's eyes (partially over his left eye and fully over his right). A quick fix in Sony Vegas by masking Ojama Yellow's eyes from the prior frame on top of the sheets.

As a persistent Harpie Lady comes back for an attack, Johan re-summons Sapphire Pegasus to take her on--but for a quick frame just before his ATK/DEF counter disappears, we can see it start decreasing. A quick fix in Vegas as I masked in the counter from the frame just before to hold it in place (couldn't just hold the frame prior as a whole as the scene started to fade into showing Johan and co. on this last counter frame).

Fixes & Edits! (121)

As Titan asks Johan if he will be his opponent, their split-screen levels up as it becomes a split-screen of their Disks activating, but the split with Titan's starts sliding in a frame before Johan's, causing both to be uneven as they slide in. Fixed in Vegas by masking in Titan's Disk split to start its slide-in with Johan's Disk split.

After the eyecatch, Johan bemoans how his Gem Beasts are at a huge disadvantage on the Desert field effectively in play, before Titan slides in on a split-screen to gloat about how there's nowhere to escape in this world of endless sand--but Johan starts moving for his slide-in a frame early; fixed in Vegas by editing Titan's slide-in for 3-4 frames to time it with Johan's moving. Then, as their split-screen splits to show Cobalt Eagle being summoned by Johan, Johan's split takes a frame longer than Titan's to slide offscreen; fixed in Vegas by just replacing this frame with the following no-split one.

For the hardsub: as Amon sneaks around in the Garam submarine, he finds his bio information on a computer, which he goes on to delete; I set up this edit back when handling his bio in 111 to get it out of the way, applying my translation of his bio to this screen using the CC Power Pin effect in AfterEffects, masking in the edges for blending. (And, of course, edited a dub version for reasons.)

Later, to deal with the Devil Scorpion onslaught, Judai summons Clayman in Defense Mode to hold them off, but the card's reversed as he plays it on his Disk, with its name box facing to the right. Fixed using AfterEffects to apply a correctly facing proxy, masking Judai's fingers onto it and using some motion tracking during the initial rapid blurry zoom-out, while also masking the original card border around it for blending; I then used Vegas to re-zoom the post-rapid-zoom-out fix into the remaining bit of the shot to keep the card consistently edited (since the motion tracking didn't come out perfectly for that part).

After 8-Claws Scorpion's able to take out a face-down Clayman, Johan summons Amethyst Cat and Topaz Tiger to corner and deal with all the Scorpions, but for a quick frame after they're summoned, as they start to split apart from their split-screen, Amethyst's isn't given a border (it gets a border in the frame after). Fixed in Vegas by applying a quick border to her split, masking in part of the following shot of Johan behind the two splits.

For the hardsub: in the preview for 122, as we see Manjoume hanging out in the Food Storage facility, there are posters with Mrs. Tome behind him, saying "Our Food's Important" and "No Stealin' Allowed 🧡"; wanting to translate these in 122 proper--madman that I am as there are about 22-23 total shots I'll be editing--I worked on translating these there first. I worked off the best front-facing shots of them that there were in the episode and made a full translated copy of each poster, repainting Tome as needed to cover up the Japanese text (annoyingly, I couldn't get the border on the heart to blur nicely but oh well), which I then used AfterEffects to Power Pin into place, masking in only the bits with the translated text. Then, for this shot, I used some motion tracking to track the panning across the shot, and then applied that tracked motion to the edit.

Also for the hardsub, the subsequent shot after #6 shows Manjoume with the Ojamas fading in to join him, with the poster on the right behind him; I applied my translation for that poster there, masking in the top tip of Manjoume's hair over the edit as needed.

Also also for the hardsub: during the "Just After This!" preview clip before the best card segment, we see Manjoume prepping his Disk in front of that second poster; I applied my edit to this scene, as well, masking in Manjoume's hair over it, but I also had to take some of the frames and touch them up in Photoshop, since the color of the original text was bleeding into his hair. The poster on the left also appears in the shot as Manjoume plays Tribute to the Dead/Doomed; I applied my edit there as well, masking Manjoume's shoulder over it and dimming it as the shot dims while the light from the card radiates out.

[captainjamster]

hihi!! I just seen your post about writing things for those who feel under represented in the community; and I was wondering... could you do one where Simon takes care of trans masc!reader on a really bad day of endometriosis pain?

Hey there anon, you're the very first request! Thank you so much for asking! This was originally going to be just 800 words, don't ask how we ended up at almost 3k lol. Sorry it took a few days, I hope you enjoy the fic! It's also on AO3 :)

Pairing(s): Ghost x transmasc!Reader w/ endometriosis (SFW) Warnings: Blood, menstruation, two off-handed mentions of sex Wordcount: 2.8k Summary: Simon takes care of your morning, despite your attempts to soldier on through a painful menstrual cycle. AO3 Link: Right here! <3

A/N: I hope this is enough "taking care" for you! Reader is indeed transmasc, but point of transition and upper anatomy is for you to decide. I might revise this one and upload an improved version, change the level of debilitation, add in HRT and increase how much Ghost does for you. But for now, here you go!! I think of Ghost as someone who conveys his love and affection through acts of service, and he'd die happy if you let him quietly manage every need you have. <3

Endometriosis currently affects around 10% - around 190 million – of women and girls of reproductive age. This statistic does not include the rate of endometriosis in non-women individuals with female reproductive genitals, which inflates the number even further. Despite the existing prevalence, endometriosis is underdiagnosed and overlooked within those who suffer from it, and this becomes even worse within trans individuals. I hope this fic can provide some love and representation for those struggling, especially my trans ppl <3

Full fic is under the cut <3

A dull throb in your stomach, pressed against the mattress is the first thing you register as consciousness slowly trickles through the thick fog of sleep. The sheets stick to your thighs as you try to roll over. Simon’s bulky, warm figure isn’t there to stop you from rotating flat on your back, encroaching onto his cold, empty spot.

You crack an eye open, looking at his vacancy in disappointment. The room is filled with an early, pale glow that peeks from around your curtains, brushing against the frame with each soft breeze from the open window. It’s not unusual for Simon to be up so early, but you miss the opportunity for morning cuddles.

A particularly sharp contraction in your stomach breaks the peaceful moment, your hand coming up to knead at the sore, bloated flesh. The last few days had left you in a pool of pain, the familiar ache creeping into your stomach and worming its way down your legs and up your back. Accompanied by the unsettling nausea and fatigue that wears you out even during a nap, you’ve resigned yourself to the fact that your least favourite friend would be making a visit this week.

Rolling back onto your stomach, you sit with the uncomfortable sensation throbbing through your midriff. It takes a moment for the damp, coldness beneath your pelvis to register, contrasted to the dry sheet your back was just resting on. Your eyes fly open, pushing yourself up and back onto your knees with a pained groan.

Even such a simple movement has a strong wave of pain flare through you, but your dismay at the mess staining your sheets is stronger. Your friend has arrived earlier and heavier than expected. The dark grey sheet is soaked in patches of black, tacky enough that you know it’s had more than plenty of time to steep into the fabric – thank god for the mattress protector Simon persuaded you into getting for other activities. Looking down, your skin is dappled with red, crusty and dried around the hairs scattering your stomach. The worst is pooled between your thighs, boxer-briefs drenched with a sharp iron scent that crinkles your nose.

Pushing through the wave of dizziness persuading you to the floor, you grab at the blankets frustratedly. You check them meticulously, scrutinizing them for even a speck of blood, but they’ve been far luckier in their escape of your mess. Throwing them haphazardly onto the floor, you set into action, working to hide the messy consequences of your cycle.

There’s no real need for the urgency that you move with, especially as every aching fibre in your body screams at you to slow down. Rationally, you know Simon wouldn’t react poorly to your calamity in the slightest, even if you asked him to change the sheets while you cleaned yourself up. He’s stayed with you during other cycles, never blinking an eye at anything menstruation throws at you. Yet he’s not here to help, and interrupting whatever he’s doing just to do something you feel capable of seems selfish. On another level, you don’t want Simon to see this right now. Frustration eats at you – for being stuck with this, for being surprised with an early cycle, and maybe just a little bit because you really wanted those goddamn cuddles. You’ve wrestled three of the four corners off when Simon catches you stripping the bed, a towel drapes around his neck, shirt damp with sweat that still drips from his hair.

“What’re y’doin’, handsome?” He rumbles, an eyebrow raised as he stands on the other side of the bed. His eyes flicker between the blankets clumped on the floor and the sheet you’re mid-tugging off the mattress.

Though his question is fair, the obviousness of your situation, and your irrational irritation makes it feel like he’s rubbing your misfortune in. Gritting your teeth, you wrench a little harder than needed at the fabric. “S’my fault, I’ll chuck it in the wash.” You grumble, pulling up the mattress to unhook the last corner, ignoring how your back groans with the motion. Simon makes a noise of protest, not unkind as he snatches the sheet you’re trying to bundle in your arms. “Don’t be daft, mate.”

His tone is flat and slightly exasperated as he pulls the sheet from you, looking at the myriad of stains on your front, glazing over the angry expression you’re giving him at his little quip. Before you can open your mouth to say something, he turns you by your shoulders, escorting you to the bathroom.

“What’re you doing?” You huff, taking your turn to ask an obvious question as you let him steer you to the ensuite. A grunt is your only response as he pushes you through the door, his warm hand leaving your shoulders to pull back the liner fully. You watch as Simon turns the taps, listening to the pipes creak as water begins to dribble from the head. He doesn’t make any move to pull off his sweaty athleisure, just fiddles with the tap, turning it much hotter than Simon would usually take his showers – oh.

Taking the hint, you pull off your boxers, wincing as the cold air hits your now-exposed, sticky skin. Simon’s hand is under the water, breaking the droplets’ fall as the water warms, but his attention is now focused on you. When you straighten up, tossing your briefs to the hamper, he meets your unhappy look with a question.

“Pancakes?”

You blink at him, indignance still plastered on your face in a grumpy scowl as your brain struggles through the pain fogging your thoughts, and Simon just raises an eyebrow.

“Eggs ‘n toast? Take-out?’

A moment of bemusement passes as you think for a second, until your mouth drops into a little o-shape, and guilt tints your cheeks red. “Oh.”

Simon huffs affectionately, echoing your “oh” as he pulls his hand back, waiting for you to answer.

“Pancakes?” You mumble, looking up at him through your lashes. The corner of his lips tug into what you’ve learnt is a forgiving smile, and he leans over your figure to press a soft, unexpected kiss to your forehead. His lips are soft – good, he’s had a drink after working out – and the appetising, musky smell of his BO fills your mouth as he leans in.

“Pancakes it is, darlin’,” he murmurs, pressing another kiss to the top of your head as he moves out the room, leaving the door slightly ajar behind him.

Before anything can drip from you and create an additional mess you can’t be bothered with, you climb into the showerbath, making sure the plug is hung up to avoid any water filling the tub. He’s perfected the temperature, and you feel like just lying down in the empty tub as your body goes boneless, feeling water drizzle down on you from the showerhead. It’s just enough to soothe the way your body aches, but not enough to make you feel any dizzier. By the time you’ve finished in the shower, your skin feels red and tender, but the heat has temporarily worked your muscles into a sleepy stupor. Though you swear the scent of metallic fetor lingers on your skin no matter how many scents you use, any visible remnant has been washed down the drain.

Pulling the liner back, a towel sits on the vanity, folded neatly with two painkillers resting atop the fabric’s surface and a half-full glass next to it. On the other side, a pair of your boxers and one of Simon’s shirts hangs from the edge. You didn’t even notice Simon slip in to leave them there – despite how long you’ve been with him, it’s still unnerving that such a big man can move without a sound.

Scooping the pills up, you take them with a mouthful of water, before unfurling the towel to dry yourself off. The ordeal is short, pausing to pull on your briefs and a sanitary product of choice before you finish drying your tender legs, hanging the towel to dry over the rail nailed to the wall.

A whiff of sweet, buttery batter permeates the bedroom as you step back into it, mentally bracing for a brutal war of ‘how many sides can I get on before one pops off’ with your goddamn super king sized bed. However, surprise stops you in your tracks, feet stuttering as you find the floor empty of blankets. They’ve returned to the bed, which has been made with a rehearsed, militarized perfection, corners tucked tightly in with barely a ripple across the taut fabric.

With one chore covered, you grab the hamper from the bathroom, walking out into the living room to the source of the smell. Simon is hidden in the kitchen, his back to the entrance as he stands over the stove, but the sound of your feet padding around the corner raises his head.

His hair is light and fluffy, the tips still damp as he puts down the spatula, walking over to take the hamper from you despite your objections. The musky sweat coating him earlier has been replaced with the artificial, clean scent of shampoo and soap - you have no clue how he’s managed to change the bed, wash himself in the spare bathroom, and make a start on breakfast before you finished your own shower.

Resigning, you move to the stove and take up the spatula, patting the pancake as bubbles rise to its surface. Barely a minute passes before Simon’s arms slip around you, taking the spatula back and letting it drop to the counter to interlock your fingers.

“Independent this morning, pet?” He murmurs, carefully placing his other hand over your stomach, feeling as it rises and dips with your laugh. The warmth that radiates from his palm is ridiculous, seeping into the sore muscles that are starting to ache again.

“C’mon, you’d call me feeding myself independent.” You tease, leaning back until your head meets his chest. It shakes as he huffs a quiet laugh, bouncing you slightly before answering.

“When I could be feedin’ you? Don’t reckon I’m wrong.” He grunts, wrapping your hand around the handle, his own still encompassing yours, smiling into your hair as he helps you flip the pancake with a flick of your wrist.

You give his retort an overly dramatic groan, but his attention is captured by an electronic beeping that sets off. The moment he pulls away, your body misses his heat, watching him open the microwave door to pull out a very familiar, tear-shaped heap of fabric. You step away from the stove, reaching out to take it from him as he extends it towards you. The cartoon-ish looking figure of a little ghost heatpack is hot to the touch, emitting the faintest smell of lavender and chamomile, and he gives you a small smile as you wrap your arms around it, holding it against your torso.

“You think of everything, huh?” You laugh, heart squeezing as he answers you with a lop-sided grin and turns back to the stove, pouring in the last of the batter.

“Not everythin’ – how ‘bout you make a cuppa and sit down, hm?” He rumbles, gesturing to near the fridge. Two cups are already coupled together on the counter, and you skip boiling the kettle again as lazy tendrils of steam already climb from its spout. Grabbing a couple of tea bags, you tuck the heating pack under your arm, filling up the mugs as you listen to the sizzling of the pan. Simon gives you a quiet “thanks, love” as you set down his mug next to the stove, but when you reach for a plate to start dishing out the cooked pancakes, you’re interrupted by a chiding “ah!” and large hands turning you around. “Go sit down love, I got this.”

The look you give Simon over your shoulder does nothing to sway his rejection of your help, big brown eyes staring back at you with an expectant look as he gently nudges you to the exit. Though it’s tempting to ignore him and stay, the effort of staying upright is slowly sapping any hint of energy you recovered in the shower.

Bringing your drink out and flopping yourself onto the couch, your legs scream in gratitude when your weight is finally shifted from them. The small ghost sits across your abdomen, radiating a relaxing warmth that soothes the muscles cramping violently underneath it.

Though it’s barely minutes that pass, Simon comes out to find you curled in the couch’s corner, wrapped up around the heating pad with a slight frown in your brow. The gentle clink of the ceramic against the coffee table stirs you from your light sleep, cracking your eyes open as Simon sinks into the couch next to you, his plate balanced on his thighs.

“Sorry love,” he murmurs apologetically, raising an arm to let you bury into him. You jump at the opportunity, shuffling yourself to press against his side, and a content relaxation falls upon you as his arm covers you protectively. Without moving you too much, Simon leans forwards to grab your plate, resting it on your lap and tucking a fork into your hand.

Looking at the pancakes, he’s given you an extra one in your stack, drizzled generously with your favourite toppings. Your chest squeezes at the sight, each carefully placed topping another homage to the tenderness that your lover struggles to verbalise.

“You’ve done so much for me this morning, Si.” You start remorsefully, eyes downcast to your stack of pancakes. With a grunt, Simon reaches for his fresh mug perched precariously on the couch’s arm, using a spare finger to hit the on button of the remote sitting next to it. “Not allowed to give my special boy some love when he’s roughed up?”

You give him a good-natured huff, digging into his side playfully. “Make it sound like I’m wounded, Si.” Simon snorts, pulling his eyes away from the TV to shoot you an amused look. “With the amount of blood, y’could’ve convince me.”

You laugh at the comment, letting the light warmth fill your chest until it’s dampened by the unspoken guilt still sitting miserably on your conscience. “Sorry for bein’ grumpy earlier,” you mumble.

Simon hums, pulling you tighter as he cuts into a pancake with his fork, raising it to your mouth. “Kinda figured you wouldn’t be top shape after seein’ the blood, s’alright pet. Y’ve told me that this shit hurts more than normal.”

Taking the mouthful, you give him a small, grateful smile, reaching for your own plate and cutlery to share a piece back. The pancakes are light and fluffy, not heavy enough to upset your stomach, but enough to be filling for how insatiable your appetite can get. “Thanks, Si. Still appreciate you’re patient with me, though.”

He hums thoughtfully as he chews, gently rubbing his thumb mindlessly against your thigh. “Patient? Nah. Johnny said y’deserve a ring for bein’ patient with my shit after deployment – he’d take the piss if I told him you’re thankin’ me for being patient.”

The way Simon drops the idea of marriage is so calm and casual, a significant contrast to how it makes your heart soars in your chest. Reigning in your excited response, you take another mouthful, giving him a grin that can’t quite hide how much you like the idea. “Hope you told him how useful this little guy has been,” you gesture to the ghost on your lap, “because it’s definitely my second favourite ghost since he bought it.”

The narrowed glare that Simon gives the plush heating pad has you giggling around a forkful of pancakes, looking at him with light-hearted exasperation. “Oh c’mon, I said second favourite!” You chuckle, watching him roll his eyes with a grumble.

“Yeah, yeah,” his tone is low and playfully grumpy, rumbling through you. “S’long as it’s me you’re cuddlin’ at night, ‘m not havin’ a toy steal my man.”

Mindful of your plates, you wrap an arm across his chest and ignore how your stomach complains at the movement, squeezing him lightly. “Never, Si. My favourite ghost.”

With a satisfied noise, he looks down at you, a mischievous half-grin on his face. “Good, that thing couldn’t fuck you half as well.”

The cheeky remark gets him a deeper dig in the side, enough to pry a grunt from him as he squirms, though he’s still careful with how much he jostles you. Silence quickly falls over you, Simon watching the news with a protective arm around you. He sips at his tea as you finish your plate, running a hand through your hair every now and then, placing a few kisses to your scalp.

When you’ve finished your meal, you put the plate on the coffee table, reaching for Simon’s to stack them together. Reaching forwards has you wincing, a pulsating pain in your core that makes your tailbone ache, and Simon swoops in to stop you in your tracks.

“Sit your ass down already,” he grouches, pushing you back into the couch as he scoops up your plate. “Told you, you’re bein’ dependent today.”

[midnightsequia]

Would people be interested in a zombie apocalypse au of a Jeff the killer x reader fanfic lmao I've been slowly writing one like here and there in my notes app so I have random scenes that are not connected at all lol here's a little sneak below the cut!

Basically a slow burn, xreader no mention of yn/__ I hate the underscores lmao and probably strangers to friends to lovers? Idk we will see ill probably post it all anyways

This is not edited!

This is not revised!

A true WIP!

"You are staying." Jeff poked your chest hard causing you to stumble back.

"In what world? There are dozens of dead in there and you expect me to stay outside?" Emphasizing 'outside' you swatted his hand away and pulled your fingers into fists by your side. In your eyes you had gotten better with your pistol and could be a great helpful asset to Jeff while scavenging.

"You're a liability and would get me killed." In his eyes you are a beginner. Someone who still shakes while holding a gun, afraid to pull the trigger in fear of blowing his head off. Your eyes flared with rage. Trying to calm yourself down from a loud outburst from frustration not wanting to attract unwanted attention. The two of you are getting too loud. "Just stay here for Christ's sake." His shoulders slacked, no longer holding annoyance and anger but instead his maniacal eyes covered themselves in guilt and sadness. He was looking towards your worn shoes. Pleading you wouldn't be stupid enough to follow him.

"Fine. If I dont hear from you in fifteen minutes, I will come in myself and get you." Crossing your arms you stood straight now almost the same height as him.

"No you will not."

"Yes. I will. I'm compromising with you." Jeff grumbled something incomprehensible under his breath. Why doesn't he see that you do care about his well being?

"Fine," He spat "I'll go in, clear the area, like I usually do, and you come in and help gather everything. Hunter, gather style." When mentioning "hunter" He pointed to himself, and gatherer to you. Jeff pulled his knife out, the knife had aged terribly, causing your worry to only grow. He hasn't had the proper tools to efficiently sharpen the blade. The rock he had been using was causing more damage than sharpening the blade and there were a few chips in it as well. Staring at the knife with your worry written all over your face Jeff rolled his eyes and gleamed it in the sun trying to blind you. "It's gonna be fine. This is me we are talking about. Ill come back through this door." He gave a large smirk and left into the large department store. You went across the car riddled street and sat one that had crashed into a tree.

Jeff quietly made his way into the store. You had told him that this store would have clothes and food most definitely since it looked clean. He had wanted more than anything else in the world now something other than poorly cooked squirrel or chipmunk. He probably wouldn't get it since it's been months since the world ended but the canned food should be like new. The sliding door was unlocked and opened with a soft ding.

"Open 24/7" Jeff scoffed to himself, "now more than ever." He thought. He had nearly jumped in delight when he saw that the store was almost untouched. This was located on the outskirts of a small town, on a road down to the coast on the way here they had only passed a few empty, well now empty, homes and they had store brand food in their trash. This store, giving you two a lead on where to possibly find supplies.

Blood was splattered across the ground and there was a funk in the air making Jeff hold back a gag. He was glad you didn't come in with him, "Oh it smells atrocious in here." He had heard your voice in his head complaining, then holding back the little bile you had left. You couldn't handle the smell of more than two zombies at a time, he couldn't begin to imagine your laughable reaction to this.

Off in the distance of the store there was a rattle of some carts

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Would Spider in the games use a bow as his weapon of choice, like in the movie, or an ax, or maybe something else? And what about Kiri's weapons? (If they decided to fight instead of hiding)

So I went back and rewatched Hunger Games last night (and wow did I not appreciate that movie as a kid. I'm so excited to rewatch all the other movies now) so I've got a lot of new ideas for the Hunger Games Avatar A.u.

First I learned from an explainer video that kids aren't actually allowed to train for the Hunger Games. The career tributes get away with it because they're training to be peacekeepers but everyone else is just out of luck. So every character I mentioned training would have to do it in complete secret. So for Spider, since his parents live in victors village and are filthy rich after winning the games, they have a training room in their basement. It's not nearly as fancy as anything from the Capital. In fact Quaritch built most of it himself. And if anyone asks Spider isn't allowed down there. The training room is just for mom and dad. The room is stocked with every weapon under the sun, so Spider would be well versed in any weapon that could be put into the games but yeah he'd prefer a bow over anything. I could also see him with a knife or a spear but I think an ax might be too brutal of a weapon for him.

I think Kiri would also go for a less brutal weapons, bow, knives, those sort of things but really I think she'd get by more like Peeta, and Rue. Making alliances, using the environment to her advantage (I'm thinking of the trackerjackers here, which even though Katniss was the one to cut down the nest it was Rue who gave her the idea) and basically just surviving since they said in the movie that most kids die from exposure, dehydration and starvation.

Also after watching the movie I realized they kinda couldn't just hide the entire time because the gamemakers would push them towards the action. I guess the scene with Katniss and Peeta in the cave just took up way more of memory then it did the actual film. So yeah let me revise hiding to being stealthy, camouflaging themselves to blend with their surroundings, setting traps for career tributes but never going after anyone that's not down with the child murder games. I could even see them setting out food and clean water for less capable tributes.

Bonus thoughts you didn't ask for but I forgot to put in my original post because I was insanely sleep deprived when I wrote it:

In my head like how Katniss was nicknamed the girl on fire, I thought of Paz being nicknamed the spider queen after her arachnid trap won her the games. The Capital is obsessed with the fact that she named her son Spider ( and as I write this I'm realizing she pretty much named her son after herself instead of Quaritch which I kinda love) and low key I bet all the kids would be mini celebrities.

I started watching Catching Fire and in that Haymitch says flat out that the show never ends. That each family would get dragged out every year, there lives constantly watched for entertainment. Which was kinda what I was thinking when I wrote about the quarter quell. The citizens of the Capital would have watched each of these families grown. They would have seen the parents grow from teenagers to adult, probably cheered for them as they had their kids and built "happy" lives (i remember in an explainer video that averaged capital citizens actually didn't like the 75th Hunger Games too much because they had such an attachment to the past victors. Now imagine that, plus you watched their kids grow up, and now you're probably going to watch those kids die. I imagine the emotions of the watchers would be at a fever pitch)

Anyway this was a really long winded way of getting to what I really wanted to say and that is that I had outfit ideas for Spider and Paz's chariot entrance in the quarter quell, lol. They wouldn't be dressed up like trees or lumber jakes like most tributes from district 7, they'd be decked out in opulent spider motifies. I imagine Paz with a spider web vail fixed to her long dark curls by a silver circlet that has one ruby teardrop that hangs in the middle of her forehead, blood red lips, sharp red nails, and a tight black dress. Spider is high key uncomfortable because he can see everyone lusting over his hot mom, and he matches her, like her little spider prince, with an off the shoulder spider web capelet, a spider shaped cravat with a ruby in the center, and fitted black suit (like world war 2 dress uniforms. I couldn't find a better name for it) his hair pulled back tight and tucked into his collar. He fucking hates it and so does his mom but they have to play nice for the cameras soo...

I'll probably get more ideas for this au as I keep watching the movies so if you like this au send me ideas! I've got some thoughts on how to go about an ending now (who gets captured, who dies (though I don't want anyone to die)) but I do want to actually watch Mockingjay so I can fully form these ideas.

[ikoarts]

December 2022 Art

back to form a bit this month, i really love a lot of the stuff i drew here x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 01/12/2022 : a young Ru! about 14 i think, i was having thoughts about her childhood and how she'd be in school etc

2-5 - 04/12/2022 : vampires.. hehe... thats all x ,, also more little ru, thought she would have a friend, she doesn't keep up with her into adulthood though, but i think Ru thinks of her a lot. also one of her in another outfit, i think she'd constantly have those claires rave ball earrings in like i did LOL

6, 7, 8 - 05/12/2022 : was thinking of what she'd wear to her school disco, somethin trendy, this would have been 2002, i was alive but not old enough to remember how teens were dressing lmfao, but anyhow i love this outfit, something she'd never wear otherwise, but she tries to fit in a bit.. also another little Toni, shes not emo enough here tho

9, 10 - 07/12/2022 : no idea whats going on here x ,, toni suspects homosexual activity, also was playing around with my Rouxls design again (i still dont know how i should be drawing him)

11, 12 - 08/09/12/2022 : TOLD U, we are at last at my current MTT design :D i love how he looks, so funky...

13, 14 - 10/12/2022 : more MTT, wanted to solidify the design, so drew him in a fun pose, still to this day this is one of my fave drawings. since Toni is, or was, like a genderbent human AU version of MTT, i was thinking of playing with her design to reflect that, i didn't go with it tho, still, it was fun to play around with

15, 16 - 18/12/2022 : idk why i lied like that in my last post LOL, i didnt draw the full digital lammy piece for awhile, but this one is definitely closer to the design i went with for her, think i based the digital one on this drawing too. More teen Toni too! i love this drawing its like the quintessential Her, esp her eye design, im glad i went and revised that, bc i know she had raccoon eyes

17, 18 - 21/12/2022 : another fiddle with my Rouxls design, i don't hate this one tbh.. also tism creature Ru

19-22 - 27/12/2022 : i think i found some random pencils and felt like inking and colouring a drawing, not my fave thing but heres a Ru in colour, the rest of the stuff i did this day i like a lot more. Next is an updated version of my gijinka of Rusty from Little Robots, idk if i ever even posted any of the old art i did for this, but heres her again <3 then just a Ru in the festive spirit, cosy jumper and a mug of somethin, i like this one bc shes just so squinkie......

23 - 31/12/2022 : last of 2022! this was done midnight before NYE itself, idk whats going on but i like it, i was thinking about what designs i could make for acrylic keyrings, and the rest is just random x

now onto 2023..... girl im so tired

[hideyseek]

hmm ... thinking over today's progress (some) and one of my more unfortunate tendencies as a writer under the cut

reworked the outline for the middle third of the distance that i run to you again tonight and it's feeling pretty good! i'm lightly despairing at having to go back over another five scenes but well, perhaps at some point "revise five scenes" will become so familiar it feels like only a small bite of work. alas currently it, well. currently it's still daunting. but!!! more importantly!!! i turned a couple dials all the way instead of just halfway and suddenly the shape of the experience of the fic that i've been hoping would happen is — happening, almost naturally as a consequence of fic events, rather than merely me writing grandoise! what a wonderful development.

i think the trend i'm starting to notice, when i write a first medium-complex fic in a new fandom is that, possibly because i don't have much of a handle on the characters, i'm extremely reluctant to ... mm, have consequences in the story, is the bluntest way to put it, i suppose. i have suuuuuch a tendency to allude to some misfortune without ever letting it happen on the page, or spend a lot of time having a character worry about something for pages and pages and pages. much love to my beta who said to me "gu yiran thinks a lot..." not really! i just think a lot! and ultimately — well, often what's more compelling is to just have the misfortune happen! and then somehow write my way out of there! but alas i'm always so nervous i won't be able to write my out of it that even in outlining i tend to avoid even going there. aaaaauuugh and then it takes like two months for me to go "what is going wrong with this fic why is nothing happening in it?" before i realize. hopefully, now that this is the second time i've concretely noticed this (narrative!fic being the first), i might remember next time to take "why is nothing happening in this fic?" and try to translate it to "what dials can i turn up in this fic to make something feel to me like it's happening?"

anyway! all that to say ... i love navel-gazing and i hate story structure! unfortunately this fic is determined to have structure apparently ! whatever, lol! this will teach me to start writing a fic without having a sense of the whole thing. for now i am just beholden to seeing it through !

[seesboy]

hello it seems i'm back here again with my Ambiguously Late 2000s AU except i managed to draw almost everyone this time around. woohoo

design notes && extra stuff under the cut :-)

~ if there's one design i'm not completely confident about it's combeferre's x_x i honestly didn't know where i was going with it outside of designating him as the Blue in the red/blue/yellow thing i did with enj/him/courf respectively. i might revise it in the future to make it fit him better but for now this is what i'm sticking to

~ there isn't much reason behind bahorel's clothes being similar to feuilly's it was 10pm when i drew him and i got lazy. i don't have much of an issue with how he turned out though

~ grantaire's hair is naturally wavy/curly (somewhere between 2b and 3a? i guess?? looking up hair types didn't help as much as i thought it would. btw it's vv much based off of my own hair lol), but it appears straight in most cases through a mix of him actually straightening it and it just being Greasy. i've drawn it naturally before though !

~ éponine's hair is dyed, naturally it's a lot like the light brown hair gavroche has. oh and the racoon tails are extensions lol

~ speaking of gravroche, while i don't know if it's completely obvious, certain parts of his design (namely the beanie) are based off of what i did for grantaire. he and ep are living with R in this au so i think he looks up to him a ton && really really wants to be like him (albeit in a "10 year old idolizing Some Guy" way) and that's somewhat reflected in his design

~ in an earlier draft of the second part i had a montparnasse design all set up and partially colored before i realized it would've made more sense to add gav lolol... i still have it saved but he's like. a Generic Emo Boy here so i don't feel like i'm confident enough in his design to add him to this post </3

~ oh yeah and i tried adding acne to a lot of the guys (gender neutral) but i don't think it's really noticeable outside of marius -_- i think i'll have to keep studying it to figure out how to draw it better

so yeah ! there's my update to this au, at the moment the fic (which i rewrote shortly after posting the first drawing) is sitting at over 5k words which is like. the most i've written Ever and it's still going strong... it's also taught me that i'm prone to writing scenes that drag and drag </3 thankfully revision helps a ton so hopefully it'll be decent when i finally finish it